As you guys all know, this is my new ana blog. The old one has been demolished. Right now, I'm very very irritable. And I guess this is just one of the side effects of anorexia and bulimia.
Welcome to my world. Okay let's cut the crap and talk about my ED right now.
(ED=eating disorder)
Firstly I've stopped all carbo intake. And that makes you dizzy if you plunge straight into that diet. And, I'm going to water fast. Nothing but water.
It's a simple thing.
All this insecurities, loneliness and low self esteem is killing me. I detest myself for who I am. I'm fat and ugly fat and ugly. I hate all the shit that I've to go through. Maybe little maybe a lot. But it's still crap.
I failed math again.
I'm a damn right down failure.
I'm looking for what I want.
Because thin tastes better than what food can give. (I only half believe this).
I don't know if I'm anti ano or pro ano now.
I'm half in and out of starving.
Sometimes I lose control,
Then I eat.
Then I throw up.
Then.
I don't know what.
I'm sad, angry, and annoyed.
(lonely yet with friends.)
No one understands what I really feel. I'm with friends all the time but yet, I'm alone. No one can really reach out to me.
And I will be.
I will be thin.
Because only then, will I be happy.