Hello.
Life sucks as usual. But what to do? Life is like this anyway.
I can't do without starving. I can't do without eating. I can't do without puking.
Life is such a vicious cycle that no matter how I try, I just can't break out of it.
And it's tiring me out.
I really don't want to budge. I took a long 2 hour bus ride on saturday. Just sitting on the bus and watching the buildings past and just thinking about nothing while listening to my music. I wish life was like that. Except that I wasn't alone.
I guess I wish I had anorexia instead of bulimia first.
Because no matter how hard I try to damn well stop and get out of bulimia and consoling myself by saying I won't eat to make up for it;
I always slip.
I eat. then,
I puke.
I wish bulimia wasn't the first option. I wish it wasn't lurking round the corner, waiting waiting. I just don't know how I got it. Actually I do. But I didn't know I had got it until I found out more about it.
Damn it.
I hate it.
Hello starvation.
Hello world,
Hello hallucination.
Sometimes I myself, question my sanity.
Not eating drives me mad. Desperate. Angry. I don't know. It's such a terrible thing. I don't understand why the world has wannarexics.
They obviously don't know the terrible stuff behind everything.