i just want to be happy.
i just want to stop feeling lonely.
i just want to be contented.
but.
it's not possible.
it's very hard not to cry.
it's very hard to control my urge to reach out and eat and eat and eat and eat until i'm going to explode everytime i feel sad.
and then.
run and lock myself up in the toilet just to get rid of everything i just ate.
it's hard to look in the mirror after i'm done,
stare right into my own bloodshot eyes.
see that wretched haunted look in my own eyes.
It's hard.
It's me.